The set of bingo calls below has been taken from the Let's Go Bingo website. Endless variations exist in bingo halls across the UK, and the calls are constantly changing and being updated. For further examples, see e.g. Charnwood Catalogue, Bingo-UK, Bingo Mad, or Bingo Lingo, or just google the phrase "bingo calls" – or best of all get yourself down to your local bingo hall.
1. Kelly's Eye
2. One Little Duck
3. Cup of tea
4. Knock at the Door
5. Man Alive
6. Tom Nix
7. God's in Heaven
8. Garden Gate
9. Doctor's Orders
10. Gordon's Den
11. Legs Eleven
12. One Dozen
13. Unlucky for Some
14. Valentines Day
15. Young and keen
16. Sweet Sixteen
17. Dancing Queen
18. Coming of Age
19. Goodbye Teens
20. One Score
21. Key of the Door
22. Two Little Ducks
23. Thee and Me
24. Two dozen
25. Duck and Dive
26. Pick and Mix
27. Gateway to Heaven
28. Over Weight
29. Rise and Shine
30. Burlington Bertie
31. Get up and Run
32. Buckle my Shoe
33. Dirty
34. Ask for More
35. Jump and Jive
36. Three Dozen
37. A Flea in Heaven
38. Christmas Cake
39. Those Famous Steps
40. Naughty Forty
41. Time for Fun
42. Winnie the Pooh
43. Down on your Knees
44. Droopy Drawers
45. Halfway There
46. Up to Tricks
47. Four and Seven
48. Four Dozen
49. P.C. Copper
50. Half a Century
51. Tweak of the Thumb
52. Danny La Rue
53. Stuck in the Tree
54. Clean the Floor
55. Snakes Alive
56. Was she worth it?
57. Heinz Varieties
58. Make them Wait
59. Brighton Line
60. Five Dozen
61. Bakers Bun
62. Turn on the Screw
63. Tickle Me
64. Red Raw
65. Old Age Pension
66. Clickety Click
67. Made in Heaven
68. Saving Grace
69. Meal for Two
70. Three Score and Ten
71. Bang on the Drum
72. Six Dozen
73. Queen Bee
74. Candy Store
75. Strive and Strive
76. Was She Worth It
77. All the Sevens
78. Heavens Gate
79. One More Time
80. Eight and Blank
81. Stop and Run
82. Straight on Through
83. Time for Tea
84. Seven Dozen
85. Staying Alive
86. Between the Sticks
87. Torquay in Devon
88. Two fat ladies
89. Nearly there
90. Top of the Shop
Sunday, 27 December 2009
Monday, 30 November 2009
Tommy on the Tubs
Passing through Duke Street, Lincoln's Inn Fields, in May, 1894, some children asked me to give some money for the grave of Tommy on the Tubs. The grave was a design worked in grass upon the pavement. I asked the meaning of it, the children only smiled; I asked who was Tommy on the Tubs, and they said he was a man who used to work in the Covent Garden Market, and was drowned on the Embankment.
Recorded by John Philipps Emslie, published in Folklore, 26.2 (1915)
Monday, 2 November 2009
Cannibal beast on the rampage in South Africa
'Cannibals' rumour sparks fear in Durbs
Hundreds of concerned Phoenix, Verulam and Inanda residents were conned this week by a hoax e-mail and reports of a "black magic cannibal".
News of a "half-human, half-animal thing" circulated in schools, shops and businesses after hundreds of people descended on the Amaoti police station in Inanda last Sunday to enquire about two alleged cannibals.
SAPS spokesman Vincent Mdunge said concerned community members stormed the police station. He was not sure where they had heard that police had arrested cannibals.
Among the variations of the urban legend is that a truck containing the cannibals was hijacked and they "ate the driver, a few children, including one from Brookdale".
The e-mail also contained a photograph of the supposed cannibals preparing to eat a victim.
A local security company spokesman, Prem Balram, said the company had been "inundated with calls from residents who were afraid of being eaten".
"We've received an average of 30 calls a day. We have also been fielding about 30 e-mail queries a day since Sunday regarding the cannibals. Our callouts have increased drastically owing directly to the story in circulation."
Balram said he believed that the rumours had been fuelled by the discovery of four bodies in the north Durban area over the past two months.
One of the four was found in Dawncrest, Phoenix, in August with no internal organs. Another mutilated body was found soon afterwards in the same vicinity.
A third badly burned body was found last Wednesday near the new La Mercy airport, and the fourth body was found in a swampy area in Verulam.
In China, four men were arrested by police in August for circulating a bizarre hoax e-mail claiming that cannibals were responsible for the disappearance of 10 people.
According to international media reports, the bloggers faked photos showing the cannibals preparing to eat a human body. It is believed the same picture was used in the local e-mail.
Hundreds of concerned Phoenix, Verulam and Inanda residents were conned this week by a hoax e-mail and reports of a "black magic cannibal".
News of a "half-human, half-animal thing" circulated in schools, shops and businesses after hundreds of people descended on the Amaoti police station in Inanda last Sunday to enquire about two alleged cannibals.
SAPS spokesman Vincent Mdunge said concerned community members stormed the police station. He was not sure where they had heard that police had arrested cannibals.
Among the variations of the urban legend is that a truck containing the cannibals was hijacked and they "ate the driver, a few children, including one from Brookdale".
The e-mail also contained a photograph of the supposed cannibals preparing to eat a victim.
A local security company spokesman, Prem Balram, said the company had been "inundated with calls from residents who were afraid of being eaten".
"We've received an average of 30 calls a day. We have also been fielding about 30 e-mail queries a day since Sunday regarding the cannibals. Our callouts have increased drastically owing directly to the story in circulation."
Balram said he believed that the rumours had been fuelled by the discovery of four bodies in the north Durban area over the past two months.
One of the four was found in Dawncrest, Phoenix, in August with no internal organs. Another mutilated body was found soon afterwards in the same vicinity.
A third badly burned body was found last Wednesday near the new La Mercy airport, and the fourth body was found in a swampy area in Verulam.
In China, four men were arrested by police in August for circulating a bizarre hoax e-mail claiming that cannibals were responsible for the disappearance of 10 people.
According to international media reports, the bloggers faked photos showing the cannibals preparing to eat a human body. It is believed the same picture was used in the local e-mail.
Monday, 26 October 2009
La Tarasque
La Tarasque was a local dragon, 'part land animal and part fish', in Tarascon, Provence. The wood and canvas representation was carried by 5 men, and accompanied by an escort of 'Tarascaires' in cocked hats, sashes, and knee breeches, during processions on Whit Monday and St Martha's Day. Local legend has it that St Martha defeated this dragon when she arrived in Tarascon, but La Tarasque is a proud and living mascot and emblem. This picture dates from the 1920s.
Tuesday, 13 October 2009
Chako Paul City
Chinese media tempted by fantasy of women-only Swedish town
The town, supposedly founded in 1820 in the northern Swedish woods by a wealthy widow, boasts 25,000 residents and a medieval castle, according to the Chinese news agency Xinhua.
A pair of blonde female sentries stand guard at the unnamed town, referred to in reports as "Shakebao" or “Chako Paul City”, and men wishing to enter risk being “beaten half to death” by police.
In addition, many of the town’s female residents turn to homosexuality “because they could not suppress their sexual needs”, the Chinese news service Harbin News reports. The story also formed the basis of a Shanghai Media Group television report.
But Claes Bertilson, a spokesperson for Sweden’s Association of Local Authorities and Regions (SALAR), is doubtful about the claims made by the Chinese media about Sweden’s supposed “women-only” town.
“I’ve never heard anything about it,” he told The Local.
“At 25,000 residents, the town would be one of the largest in northern Sweden, and I find it hard to believe that you could keep something like that a secret for more than 150 years.”
Bertilson was also at a loss as to where the fictitious account could have originated.
“I have no idea where something like this could have come from,” he said.
Accuracy aside, the Chinese press reports provide a plethora of titillating details about life in the mythical Swedish town.
Most of the town’s all-female population is employed in the forestry industry, with many sporting a “thick waist belt full of woodworking equipment”, according to Xinhua.
And women who decide to leave the town to fulfill their carnal desires are only allowed to re-enter Chako Paul City if they agree to bathe and undertake several other measures designed to ensure that their out-of-town trysts don’t negatively affect the mental state of other women in the town.
Perhaps not surprisingly, Xinhua adds that “Chako Paul's tourism industry is increasingly prosperous”.
“Hotels and restaurants are everywhere, to receive women from around the world,” the agency reports.
Although Per Wilhelmsson of the tourist office in Umeå in northern Sweden said he had never heard of Chako Paul City, he did confirm that tourism in the area is bustling.
“Our tourism industry is doing quite well, among the best in northern Sweden,” he said.
He was fairly certain no “women-only” city existed in northern Sweden, adding that the story reminded him of a stunt carried out in the 1980s by Pajala, a northern Swedish town suffering from a different problem.
“They arranged for bus loads of women to come up to this town because there weren't enough of them,” he explained.
When asked what else might be drawing tourists to northern Sweden besides the chance to visit an isolated town filled with sexually frustrated females, Wilhelmsson had a theory of his own.
“It’s hard to say for sure, but I think part of it might be increased interest following our designation as Europe’s Cultural Capital for 2014,” he said.
The town, supposedly founded in 1820 in the northern Swedish woods by a wealthy widow, boasts 25,000 residents and a medieval castle, according to the Chinese news agency Xinhua.
A pair of blonde female sentries stand guard at the unnamed town, referred to in reports as "Shakebao" or “Chako Paul City”, and men wishing to enter risk being “beaten half to death” by police.
In addition, many of the town’s female residents turn to homosexuality “because they could not suppress their sexual needs”, the Chinese news service Harbin News reports. The story also formed the basis of a Shanghai Media Group television report.
But Claes Bertilson, a spokesperson for Sweden’s Association of Local Authorities and Regions (SALAR), is doubtful about the claims made by the Chinese media about Sweden’s supposed “women-only” town.
“I’ve never heard anything about it,” he told The Local.
“At 25,000 residents, the town would be one of the largest in northern Sweden, and I find it hard to believe that you could keep something like that a secret for more than 150 years.”
Bertilson was also at a loss as to where the fictitious account could have originated.
“I have no idea where something like this could have come from,” he said.
Accuracy aside, the Chinese press reports provide a plethora of titillating details about life in the mythical Swedish town.
Most of the town’s all-female population is employed in the forestry industry, with many sporting a “thick waist belt full of woodworking equipment”, according to Xinhua.
And women who decide to leave the town to fulfill their carnal desires are only allowed to re-enter Chako Paul City if they agree to bathe and undertake several other measures designed to ensure that their out-of-town trysts don’t negatively affect the mental state of other women in the town.
Perhaps not surprisingly, Xinhua adds that “Chako Paul's tourism industry is increasingly prosperous”.
“Hotels and restaurants are everywhere, to receive women from around the world,” the agency reports.
Although Per Wilhelmsson of the tourist office in Umeå in northern Sweden said he had never heard of Chako Paul City, he did confirm that tourism in the area is bustling.
“Our tourism industry is doing quite well, among the best in northern Sweden,” he said.
He was fairly certain no “women-only” city existed in northern Sweden, adding that the story reminded him of a stunt carried out in the 1980s by Pajala, a northern Swedish town suffering from a different problem.
“They arranged for bus loads of women to come up to this town because there weren't enough of them,” he explained.
When asked what else might be drawing tourists to northern Sweden besides the chance to visit an isolated town filled with sexually frustrated females, Wilhelmsson had a theory of his own.
“It’s hard to say for sure, but I think part of it might be increased interest following our designation as Europe’s Cultural Capital for 2014,” he said.
Wednesday, 7 October 2009
La Smorfia
La Smorfia is an Italian system, originally based in Naples, which assigns numbers to images or experiences encountered in dreams or waking life. The numbers can then be used to play the lottery, or for other divinatory purposes. The system comprises both primary and more elaborate secondary tables, the latter being sold in cheap books on the streets. The data below are from the primary tables. The numbers run up to 90 because that is the highest number played in the Italian lottery.
1: L'ITALIA – Italy
2: 'A PICCERELLA – young girl
3: 'A GATTA – cat
4: 'O PUORCO – pig
5: 'A MANO – hand
6: CHELLA C GUARDA 'NTERRA – that which looks at the ground (i.e. vagina)
7: VASE – vase
8: A' MADONNA – the Virgin Mary
9: 'A FIGLIATA – baby girl
10: 'E FASULE – beans
11: 'E SURICILLE – the rats
12: 'O SURDATE – the soldier
13: SANT' ANTONIO – Saint Anthony
14: 'O MBRIACO – the drunk
15: 'O GUAGLIONE – boy
16: 'O CULO – the arse
17: 'A DISGRAZZIA – misfortune/shame
18: 'O SANGHE– blood
19: 'A RESATA – laugh
20: 'A FESTA – celebration/dinner/party
21: 'A FEMMENA ANNURA – nude woman
22: 'O PAZZO – madman
23: 'O SCEMO – fool
24: 'E GGUARDIE – police
25: NATALE – Christmas
26: NANINELLA – Little Anna
27: 'O CANTERO – chamber pot
28: 'E ZZIZZE – breasts
29: 'O PATE D'E CCRIATURE – penis
30: LE PALLE D' 'O TENENTE – the lieutenant's balls
31: 'O PADRONE 'E CASA – landlord
32: O CAPITONE – big-head
33: IL'ANNE'E CRISTO – the time of Christ
34: 'A CAPA – head
35: L'AUCELLUZZ – bird
36: E CCASTAGNELLE – castanets
37: 'O MONACO – monk
38: 'E MMAZZATE – blows
39: ' FUNA N'GANNA – at gun-point
40: 'A PAPOSCIA – hernia
41: 'O CURTIELLO – knife
42: IL CAFFE – coffee
43: 'ONNA PERETA 'O BARCONE – woman at balcony
44: 'A CCANCELLE – jail
45: 'O VINO BBUONO – good wine
46: 'E DENARE – money
47: 'O MUORTO – dead man
48: 'O MUORTO CHE PPARLA – dead man talking
49: 'O PIEZZO 'E CARNE – meat
50: 'O PPANE – bread
51: 'O CIARDINO – garden
52: 'A MAMMA – mother
53: 'O VIECCHIO – old man
54: 'O CAPPIELLO – hat
55: 'A MUSECA – music
56: 'A CARUTA – fall
57: 'O SCARTELLATO – hunchback
58: 'O PACCOTTO – bundle
59: 'E PILE – hair
60: SE LAMENTA – complainer
61: 'O CACCIATORE – hunter
62: 'O MUORTO ACCISO – murdered man
63: 'A SPOSA – bride
64: 'A SCIAMMERIA – dress-coat
65: 'O CHIANTO – weeping
66: 'E DDOIE ZETELLE – two "old maids"
67: 'O TOTARO INT'A CHITARRA – squid in a guitar
68: 'A ZUPPA COTTA – soup
69: SOTT'E 'NCOPPA – upside-down
70: 'O PALAZZO – apartment building
71: L'OMMO 'E MERDA – man of shit
72: 'A MARAVIGLIA – astonishment
73: 'O SPITALE – hospital
74: 'A ROTTA – cave
75: PULCINELLA – Mr Punch
76: 'A FUNTANA – fountain
77: 'E RIAVULILLE – the Devil
78: 'A BELLA FIGLIOLA – prostitute
79: 'O MARIUOLO – thief
80: 'A VOCCA – mouth
81: 'E SCIURE – flowers
82: 'A TAVULA 'MBANDITA – a laid table
83: 'O MALE TIEMPO – bad weather
84: 'A CCHIESA – church
85: 'LL ANEME 'O PRIATORIO – souls in Purgatory
86: 'A PUTECA – shop
87: 'E PERUCCHIE – lice
88: 'E CASECAVALLE – cheeses
89: 'A VECCHIA – old woman
90: FEAR
1: L'ITALIA – Italy
2: 'A PICCERELLA – young girl
3: 'A GATTA – cat
4: 'O PUORCO – pig
5: 'A MANO – hand
6: CHELLA C GUARDA 'NTERRA – that which looks at the ground (i.e. vagina)
7: VASE – vase
8: A' MADONNA – the Virgin Mary
9: 'A FIGLIATA – baby girl
10: 'E FASULE – beans
11: 'E SURICILLE – the rats
12: 'O SURDATE – the soldier
13: SANT' ANTONIO – Saint Anthony
14: 'O MBRIACO – the drunk
15: 'O GUAGLIONE – boy
16: 'O CULO – the arse
17: 'A DISGRAZZIA – misfortune/shame
18: 'O SANGHE– blood
19: 'A RESATA – laugh
20: 'A FESTA – celebration/dinner/party
21: 'A FEMMENA ANNURA – nude woman
22: 'O PAZZO – madman
23: 'O SCEMO – fool
24: 'E GGUARDIE – police
25: NATALE – Christmas
26: NANINELLA – Little Anna
27: 'O CANTERO – chamber pot
28: 'E ZZIZZE – breasts
29: 'O PATE D'E CCRIATURE – penis
30: LE PALLE D' 'O TENENTE – the lieutenant's balls
31: 'O PADRONE 'E CASA – landlord
32: O CAPITONE – big-head
33: IL'ANNE'E CRISTO – the time of Christ
34: 'A CAPA – head
35: L'AUCELLUZZ – bird
36: E CCASTAGNELLE – castanets
37: 'O MONACO – monk
38: 'E MMAZZATE – blows
39: ' FUNA N'GANNA – at gun-point
40: 'A PAPOSCIA – hernia
41: 'O CURTIELLO – knife
42: IL CAFFE – coffee
43: 'ONNA PERETA 'O BARCONE – woman at balcony
44: 'A CCANCELLE – jail
45: 'O VINO BBUONO – good wine
46: 'E DENARE – money
47: 'O MUORTO – dead man
48: 'O MUORTO CHE PPARLA – dead man talking
49: 'O PIEZZO 'E CARNE – meat
50: 'O PPANE – bread
51: 'O CIARDINO – garden
52: 'A MAMMA – mother
53: 'O VIECCHIO – old man
54: 'O CAPPIELLO – hat
55: 'A MUSECA – music
56: 'A CARUTA – fall
57: 'O SCARTELLATO – hunchback
58: 'O PACCOTTO – bundle
59: 'E PILE – hair
60: SE LAMENTA – complainer
61: 'O CACCIATORE – hunter
62: 'O MUORTO ACCISO – murdered man
63: 'A SPOSA – bride
64: 'A SCIAMMERIA – dress-coat
65: 'O CHIANTO – weeping
66: 'E DDOIE ZETELLE – two "old maids"
67: 'O TOTARO INT'A CHITARRA – squid in a guitar
68: 'A ZUPPA COTTA – soup
69: SOTT'E 'NCOPPA – upside-down
70: 'O PALAZZO – apartment building
71: L'OMMO 'E MERDA – man of shit
72: 'A MARAVIGLIA – astonishment
73: 'O SPITALE – hospital
74: 'A ROTTA – cave
75: PULCINELLA – Mr Punch
76: 'A FUNTANA – fountain
77: 'E RIAVULILLE – the Devil
78: 'A BELLA FIGLIOLA – prostitute
79: 'O MARIUOLO – thief
80: 'A VOCCA – mouth
81: 'E SCIURE – flowers
82: 'A TAVULA 'MBANDITA – a laid table
83: 'O MALE TIEMPO – bad weather
84: 'A CCHIESA – church
85: 'LL ANEME 'O PRIATORIO – souls in Purgatory
86: 'A PUTECA – shop
87: 'E PERUCCHIE – lice
88: 'E CASECAVALLE – cheeses
89: 'A VECCHIA – old woman
90: FEAR
Tuesday, 15 September 2009
Green grow the rushes-o
There are different versions of these song lyrics around the internet, but this is the version I remember from my childhood. The obscure words and unexplained symbolism always seemed mysterious and dream-like to me.
I'll sing you one song
Green grow the rushes-o
What is your one song?
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you two songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your two songs?
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you three songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your three songs?
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you four songs
Green grow the rushes-0
What are your four songs?
Four for the gospel makers
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you five songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your five songs?
Five for the symbols at your door
Four for the gospel makers
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you six songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your six songs?
Six for the six proud walkers
Five for the symbols at your door
Four for the gospel makers
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you seven songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your seven songs?
Seven for the seven stars in the sky
Six for the six proud walkers
Five for the symbols at your door
Four for the gospel makers
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you eight songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your eight songs?
Eight for the April rainers
Seven for the seven stars in the sky
Six for the six proud walkers
Five for the symbols at your door
Four for the gospel makers
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you nine songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your nine songs?
Nine for the nine bright shiners
Eight for the April rainers
Seven for the seven stars in the sky
Six for the six proud walkers
Five for the symbols at your door
Four for the gospel makers
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you ten songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your ten songs?
Ten for the ten commandments
Nine for the nine bright shiners
Eight for the April rainers
Seven for the seven stars in the sky
Six for the six proud walkers
Five for the symbols at your door
Four for the gospel makers
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you eleven songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your eleven songs?
Eleven for the eleven who went to heaven
Ten for the ten commandments
Nine for the nine bright shiners
Eight for the April rainers
Seven for the seven stars in the sky
Six for the six proud walkers
Five for the symbols at your door
Four for the gospel makers
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you twelve songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your twelve songs?
Twelve for the twelve disciples
Eleven for the eleven who went to heaven
Ten for the ten commandments
Nine for the nine bright shiners
Eight for the April rainers
Seven for the seven stars in the sky
Six for the six proud walkers
Five for the symbols at your door
Four for the gospel makers
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you one song
Green grow the rushes-o
What is your one song?
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you two songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your two songs?
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you three songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your three songs?
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you four songs
Green grow the rushes-0
What are your four songs?
Four for the gospel makers
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you five songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your five songs?
Five for the symbols at your door
Four for the gospel makers
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you six songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your six songs?
Six for the six proud walkers
Five for the symbols at your door
Four for the gospel makers
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you seven songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your seven songs?
Seven for the seven stars in the sky
Six for the six proud walkers
Five for the symbols at your door
Four for the gospel makers
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you eight songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your eight songs?
Eight for the April rainers
Seven for the seven stars in the sky
Six for the six proud walkers
Five for the symbols at your door
Four for the gospel makers
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you nine songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your nine songs?
Nine for the nine bright shiners
Eight for the April rainers
Seven for the seven stars in the sky
Six for the six proud walkers
Five for the symbols at your door
Four for the gospel makers
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you ten songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your ten songs?
Ten for the ten commandments
Nine for the nine bright shiners
Eight for the April rainers
Seven for the seven stars in the sky
Six for the six proud walkers
Five for the symbols at your door
Four for the gospel makers
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you eleven songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your eleven songs?
Eleven for the eleven who went to heaven
Ten for the ten commandments
Nine for the nine bright shiners
Eight for the April rainers
Seven for the seven stars in the sky
Six for the six proud walkers
Five for the symbols at your door
Four for the gospel makers
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
I'll sing you twelve songs
Green grow the rushes-o
What are your twelve songs?
Twelve for the twelve disciples
Eleven for the eleven who went to heaven
Ten for the ten commandments
Nine for the nine bright shiners
Eight for the April rainers
Seven for the seven stars in the sky
Six for the six proud walkers
Five for the symbols at your door
Four for the gospel makers
Three, three the rivals
Two, two, the lily-white boys
Dress them all in corduroys
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so
Monday, 24 August 2009
Monday, 17 August 2009
Cypriot love potion
NICOSIA (Reuters) - Unhappy lovers in Cyprus have been taking so much stone from the tomb of Saint Agapitikos to use in love potions that soon there won't be anything left.
Dust from the grave in the courtyard of the church in the village of Arodes in Paphos district has been used for centuries by the lovelorn, who are supposed to slip it into the drink of their objet d'amour.
But in recent years so many have been filching shards of stone that a quarter of the tomb has disappeared.
Mayor of Arodes Matthaios Stefanou is unclear whether Cypriots' love lives are becoming more troubled.
"A lot of people have said it works," he said. "In the last few years I don't know what's come over people, but they are flocking to the tomb for the stuff.
"Just the other day locals saw some people visiting the tomb, and they were there for a very long time, in the end they walked off with a huge chunk of stone, maybe even half a kilo of it!"
The island's antiquities department has been called in to help. "The only thing we can do is examine the damage and try to prevent any further damage," said Maria Hadjicosti, the acting director. Saint Agapitikos -- whose name means "lover" -- is believed to have served in the German army of the Crusaders before settling as a hermit in the area.
"You're very welcome to come and see the tomb, but please don't go taking any of it with you now," Stefanou said.
Saturday, 15 August 2009
Wednesday, 8 July 2009
Monday, 6 July 2009
Woman turn's to cat and attack son
from Ghanapublished in Fortean Times no.251, July 2009
(Click on the image to enlarge it and read the expository text)
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
Monday, 22 June 2009
Saturday, 20 June 2009
A Vampire Cat
One of the strangest incidents that has ever fallen under our reportorial observation, transpired at the Virginia hotel in this city last night. Mr. French, a member of the Thorne dramatic troupe, playing an engagement in this city, was the victim. He retired to rest at an early hour last night and soon fell in to a deep slumber. After the lapse of an hour or two he was aroused by a feeling of overpowering oppressiveness and suffocation, and was horrified to find that a huge cat was sitting on his breast and had its head inserted in his mouth sucking away his breath. He found himself in an almost exhausted condition; so much so that he was unable to shake off the vampire fiend attacking him. Struggle as he would, the cat only fastened its claws the deeper in his chest and went on at its horrible feast. His groans and cries of agony, however, fortunately brought some neighboring lodgers to his relief, and he was rescued from his frightful position. Even then they were compelled to turn him out of bed and roll him over and over on the floor before the cat could be made to release its hold and abandon its purpose. Mr. French's face and chest this morning bear frightful evidences of his terrible battle with the monster, and he will probably hereafter make special inquiry at his hotels as to the character of the cats belonging to the establishment.
Monday, 15 June 2009
True life story
Ghanaian Christian poster
published in Fortean Times no.250, June 2009
(Click on the image to enlarge it and read the expository text)
Saturday, 13 June 2009
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
More red mercury
KUWAIT CITY : In an incident which is believed to be the first of its kind in the Gulf region, police have reportedly arrested four men — a Kuwaiti, a Syrian and two Egyptians — for attempting to sell two grams of ‘Red Mercury’, worth $42 million, reports Al-Qabas daily.
The arrest came following information received by police that a Syrian man had smuggled the rare substance into the country.
Investigations conducted by securitymen revealed the Syrian was the boss of the gang and that he smuggled the substance into the country from Syria.
Acting on information police put the Syrian under surveillance and caught him red-handed while making a deal with the Kuwaiti man to sell him the substance for $21 million. He also reportedly agreed to sell the mercury on condition $50,000 was paid in advance to view the rare substance before the transaction was completed.
Police reportedly raided a house in Salwa and arrested the members of the gang and the two grams of the red mercury.
During interrogation the Syrian is said to have admitted to the charge and said the substance was stolen from an Egyptian mummy by his partner in Syria.
The four men have been referred to the concerned authorities.
Red mercury is a substance purportedly used in the creation of nuclear bombs as well as a variety of unrelated weapons systems. The substance is also believed to boost the sexual potency of elderly men.
The arrest came following information received by police that a Syrian man had smuggled the rare substance into the country.
Investigations conducted by securitymen revealed the Syrian was the boss of the gang and that he smuggled the substance into the country from Syria.
Acting on information police put the Syrian under surveillance and caught him red-handed while making a deal with the Kuwaiti man to sell him the substance for $21 million. He also reportedly agreed to sell the mercury on condition $50,000 was paid in advance to view the rare substance before the transaction was completed.
Police reportedly raided a house in Salwa and arrested the members of the gang and the two grams of the red mercury.
During interrogation the Syrian is said to have admitted to the charge and said the substance was stolen from an Egyptian mummy by his partner in Syria.
The four men have been referred to the concerned authorities.
Red mercury is a substance purportedly used in the creation of nuclear bombs as well as a variety of unrelated weapons systems. The substance is also believed to boost the sexual potency of elderly men.
Arab Times, 2nd June 2009
See also Kuwait Times report on the same day.
Click here for previous reports on red mercury.
See also Kuwait Times report on the same day.
Click here for previous reports on red mercury.
Monday, 1 June 2009
Gifted from Birth
"Professor Sahib" and "Mr Mandiba" both collected on High Street North, London E6, Saturday 30th May
"Prof Sidat", date and place of collection unrecorded
The world's most beautiful joke
The inflatable boy at the inflatable school is sent to see the inflatable headmaster.
The headmaster tells him, "You've let me down, you've let the school down, and worst of all you've let yourself down."
The headmaster tells him, "You've let me down, you've let the school down, and worst of all you've let yourself down."
Thursday, 21 May 2009
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
Complete solution to all your problems
All collected on High Street North, London E6, on Sunday 10th May, from individuals handing them out on the street.
Sunday, 10 May 2009
The Good Ship Venus
'Twas on the good ship Venus,
By Christ you should have seen us,
The figurehead was a whore in bed,
And the mast was the Captain's penis.
CHORUS:
Frigging in the rigging,
Wanking on the planking,
Masturbating on the grating,
There's fuck all else to do.
The Captain's wife was Mabel,
Whenever she was able,
She gave the crew their daily screw,
Upon the galley table,
The cabin boy's name was Kipper,
A cunning little nipper,
He lined his arse with broken glass,
And circumcised the skipper.
The ladies of the nation
Arose in indignation,
They stuffed his bum with chewing gum,
A smart retaliation.
The ship's dog's name was Rover,
We fairly bowled him over,
We ground and ground that faithful hound,
From Singapore to Dover.
The First Mate's name was Hopper,
By Christ, he had a whopper,
Twice round his neck, once round the deck,
And up his arse for a stopper.
The Captain's randy daughter,
She fell into the water,
Delighted squeals revealed that eels,
Had found her sexual quarter.
'Twas on the China Station,
To roars of approbation,
We sunk a junk with a load of spunk,
By mutual masturbation.
The Second Mate's name was Carter,
By God, he was a farter,
When the wind wouldn't blow and the ship wouldn't go,
We'd get Carter the farter to start her.
The cook whose name was Freeman,
He was a dirty demon,
He served the crew with menstrual stew,
And foreskins fried in semen.
The Captain of that lugger,
By Christ, he was a bugger,
He wasn't fit to shovel shit,
From one ship to another.
The Third Mate's name was Wiggun,
By God, he had a big 'un,
We bashed that cock with lump of rock
For frigging in the rigging.
The next Mate's name was Andy,
By God, that man was randy,
We boiled his bum in red-hot rum,
For coming in the brandy.
The Fourth Mate's name was Morgan,
A homosexual Gorgon,
A dozen crow in rows could pose,
Upon his sexual organ,
On the trip to Buenos Aires,
We rogered all the fairies,
We got the syph at Tennerife,
And a dose of clap in the Canaries.
Another cook was O'Malley,
He didn't dilly dally,
He shot his bolt with a hell of a jolt,
And whitewashed half the galley.
The Captain was elated,
The Crew investigated,
The found some sand in his prostate gland,
He had to be castrated.
Another Mate's name was Paul,
He only had one ball,
But with that cracker he'd roll terbaccer,
Around the cabin wall.
The Boatswain's name was Lester,
He was a hymen tester,
Through hymens thick he'd shove his prick
And leave it there to fester.
The engineer was McTavish,
And young girls he did ravish,
His missing tool's at Istanbul,
He was a trifle lavish.
A homo was the Purser,
He couldn't have been worser,
With all the crew he had a screw,
Until they yelled, "Oh, no sir."
'Twas in the Adriatic,
Where the water's almost static,
The rise and fall of arse and ball,
Was almost automatic.
The ship's cat's name was Hippy,
His hole was black and shitty,
But shit or not it had a twat,
The Captain showed no pity.
So now we end this serial,
Through sheer lack of material,
We wish you luck and freedom from
Diseases venereal.
Friday, 8 May 2009
Cry of Marvin 69
My name is Marvin dale Molamba, I am young boy of 17yrs old. I lost my parents and my only sister to the war in my country which my father Abbas Sula Molamba owned a diamond/gold mine. I am lucky that I was able to flee to this place here in Cote d'Ivoire by the good grace that spared my life.
I am presently staying in a residence lodging apartment here in Cote d'Ivoire. I would like to appeal to you confidentialy to assist me concerning my late father's Fund which he deposited in a financial firm, he has the sum of nine million, two hundred and ten thousand Euro (9.210,000) and some treasure in
vault company here in Cote d'Ivoire. I want to move out from here because of the my wicked stepmother who plotted with the rebels that killed my father and will stop at nothing to hunt my life except if i flee since my father own a diamond/gold mine. So please i want to know you better.
I am willing to offer you 921,000euro for your assistance after the successful transfer of this money for investment; I have plans to do investment in your country, like real estate, industrial production or any other lucrative investment you bring to my notice in your country.
If you are willing to help me please indicate in your next mail and let me know so that I can mail to you. Let me have your private telephone number & address so that i can communicate with you at any time for more details.
Thanks, Marvin dale
E-mail received 29th March 2009
Wednesday, 6 May 2009
Bows of London
There were two little sisters a-walking alone
Hey the gay and the grinding
Two little sisters a-walking alone
By the bonny bonny bows of London
And the eldest pushed her sister in
Hey the gay and the grinding
Pushed her sister into the stream
By the bonny bonny bows of London
Oh she pushed her in and she watched her drown
Hey the gay and the grinding
Watched her body floating down
By the bonny bonny bows of London
Oh she floated up and she floated down
Hey the gay and the grinding
Floats till she come to the miller's dam
By the bonny bonny bows of London
And out and come the miller's son
Hey the gay and the grinding
Father dear here swims a swan
By the bonny bonny bows of London
Oh they laid her out on the bank to die
Hey the gay and the grinding
Fool with a fiddle come a-riding by
By the bonny bonny bows of London
And he took some strands of her long yellow hair
Hey the gay and the grinding
Took some strands of her long yellow hair
By the bonny bonny bows of London
And he made some strings from this yellow hair
Hey the gay and the grinding
Made some strings from this yellow hair
By the bonny bonny bows of London
And he made fiddle pegs from her long fingerbone
Hey the gay and the grinding
Made fiddle pegs from her long fingerbone
By the bonny bonny bows of London
And he made a fiddle out of her breastbone
Hey the gay and the grinding
Sound would pierce the heart of a stone
By the bonny bonny bows of London
But the only tune that the fiddle would play
Was Oh the bows of London
The only tune the fiddle would play
Was the bonny bonny bows of London
So the fool's gone away to the king's high hall
Hey the gay and the grinding
There was music dancing and all
By the bonny bonny bows of London
And he laid this fiddle all down on a stone
Hey the gay and the grinding
Played so loud it played all alone
By the bonny bonny bows of London
It sang yonder sits my father the king
Hey the gay and the grinding
Yonder sits my father the king
By the bonny bonny bows of London
And yonder sits my mother the queen
Hey the gay and the grinding
How she'll grieve at my burying
By the bonny bonny bows of London
And yonder she sits my sister Anne
Hey the gay and the grinding
She who drownded me in the stream
By the bonny bonny bows of London
Saturday, 2 May 2009
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Tuesday, 21 April 2009
How to catch a murderer
An English photographer lately took a photograph of the eye of an ox a few hours after death; and on examining the impression through the microscope distinctly perceived depicted on the retina the exact delineation of the stones with which the slaughter-house was paved, being the last object which affected the vision of the animal on bending down its head to receive the fatal blow. The consequence deduced from this somewhat apocryphal story is, that if the eyes of a murdered man be photographed a few hours after death the likeness of the murderer will be found on his retina, that being the last object he can have seen during the death struggle.
West Australian Times, 12th November 1863
How domestic workers can improve their working conditions
A domestic helper has appeared in court accused of trying to injure her employer by mixing her menstrual blood in a pot of vegetables she was cooking.
Kwun Tong Magistrates' Court heard that Indra Ningsih, 26, admitted to police she had done so in the belief that it would improve her relationship with her employer. She entered no plea yesterday and was remanded in custody until the next hearing on May 13.
Prosecutor Vincent Lee gave a statement to the court in which the Indonesian maid admitted under caution to mixing the blood with the vegetables in the belief that it would make her employer, surnamed Mok, "more amicable and less picky." [...]
Last year, a court in Saudi Arabia sentenced two Asian domestic helpers to four months in prison and 250 lashes each for contaminating the tea of their employer with urine and menstrual blood.
One of them was from Indonesia and the other from the Philippines.
In December 2007, another Indonesian domestic helper in Hong Kong added urine to the drinking water of her employer and his family.
She believed it would make the family treat her better. It was discovered after the family noticed a difference in the taste of the water. The maid was jailed for three months on a charge of "administering poison or other destructive or noxious things with intent to injure."
In some Southeast Asian cultures menstrual blood is thought to have special magical powers.
Kwun Tong Magistrates' Court heard that Indra Ningsih, 26, admitted to police she had done so in the belief that it would improve her relationship with her employer. She entered no plea yesterday and was remanded in custody until the next hearing on May 13.
Prosecutor Vincent Lee gave a statement to the court in which the Indonesian maid admitted under caution to mixing the blood with the vegetables in the belief that it would make her employer, surnamed Mok, "more amicable and less picky." [...]
Last year, a court in Saudi Arabia sentenced two Asian domestic helpers to four months in prison and 250 lashes each for contaminating the tea of their employer with urine and menstrual blood.
One of them was from Indonesia and the other from the Philippines.
In December 2007, another Indonesian domestic helper in Hong Kong added urine to the drinking water of her employer and his family.
She believed it would make the family treat her better. It was discovered after the family noticed a difference in the taste of the water. The maid was jailed for three months on a charge of "administering poison or other destructive or noxious things with intent to injure."
In some Southeast Asian cultures menstrual blood is thought to have special magical powers.
Red mercury
JEDDAH: The feverish search for Singer sewing machines driven by a superstitious notion that they possessed mysterious powers to fulfill every human wish has lost its tempo as the common man is slowly realizing that it is another ploy to dupe the naive public, particularly in Saudi Arabia and Jordan.
Nobody has yet been arrested on the charge of launching the hoax claiming that red mercury inside the machines can capture a wish-granting genii and convert its owner to an Aladdin with the Magic Lamp, a fantasy almost every child in the Middle East knows.
However, it is yet a mystery how the sewing machine has been elevated to the status of the magic lamp.
Interior Ministry spokesman Mansour Al-Turki described the rumors “as false and deceptive” in a recent statement.
Following the rumor, the price of a Singer machine reportedly catapulted last week.
“There is no such thing as red mercury except in the world of superstition and magic,” said Khaled Kamakhi, former rector of the Institute of Research and Consultancy at Taiba University in Madinah.
According to rumors going around on the Internet, a sewing machine can be proved to contain red mercury if a phone signal cuts off when held close by. Buyers from street stalls were using their mobile phones to test the machines, Al-Watan newspaper reported yesterday.
Commenting on the rumor Kamakhi said, a strong static electricity field could be the cause of disruption in the mobile line.
According to conspiracy theorists, red mercury was developed by Soviet scientists in the 1980s, but its existence has since been covered up by US military because of its potential use as a weapon of mass destruction.
Ahmad Bushaala, a teacher of inorganic chemistry at Taiba University, said the rumors about red mercury were circulated by Russian scientists in the early 1980s after developing a smart nuclear bomb that could kill people without harming the buildings and streets.
According to an article in the Russian newspaper Pravda in 1993, red mercury was a superconductive material used for producing high-precision conventional and nuclear explosives.
It was also reported that Russian businessmen offered red mercury for sale throughout Europe and the Middle East and found many buyers who would pay almost anything for the substance even though they had no idea what it was all about.
The tendency of easily being carried away by rumors has been lampooned by messages appearing on mobile phones and websites, such as “I adore you more than red mercury” or “I love you more than an old Singer machine.” Another message suggested the name Singer for a new baby.
"Source of Singer hoax remains a mystery", Arab News 17th April 2009
Other reports in the press this week:
Sewing machine frenzy in red mercury hoax
Saudi Arabia gripped by "red mercury" hoax
Man cuts losses in Singer scam
Tuesday, 7 April 2009
The breeding-ground
A young girl ate frog-spawn while on a visit to the sea-side, and an octopus has grown inside her. Its 'fangs' (tentacles) have spread into every part of her body, and one is wrapped round her heart: if it gives a pull 'her heart will come away' ... They have taken the girl to Kingston Infirmary, but they can't do anything for her; and now they're just waiting for the King's consent to smother her.
Folklore, April 1926
Monday, 30 March 2009
Friday, 13 March 2009
Tuesday, 10 March 2009
A Greek calendar custom
On Friday 27/2, pupils from the state schools of Philothei and Palaeo Psichico, Athens richest suburbs, attacked the exclusive private school "Athens College", cradle of the country's ruling class, under the pretext of the traditional orange war between local schools at the end of the Carnival. The pupils broke the back entrance of the school smashed the guard post spraying anarchist slogans and signs on the walls. Then they fired firecrackers and piled school buses with oranges. In their effort to storm the main building they were confronted by strong police forces. The cops attacked the pupils and arrested a 13 year old boy and a 12 year old girl who was dragged on the ground. The police had to release them both when the pupils counterattacked surrounding the officers with the help of teaching staff who accused them of brutality.
Friday, 6 March 2009
Tuesday, 3 March 2009
Big Rock Candy Mountain
One evening as the sun went down and the jungle fire was burning
Down the track came a hobo hiking and he said boys I'm not turning
I'm headin for a land that's far away beside the crystal fountains
So come with me we'll go and see the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains there's a land that's fair and bright
Where the handouts grow on bushes and you sleep out every night
Where the boxcars are all empty and the sun shines every day
On the birds and the bees and the cigarette trees
Where the lemonade springs where the bluebird sings
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains all the cops have wooden legs
And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth and the hens lay soft boiled eggs
The farmer's trees are full of fruit and the barns are full of hay
Oh, I'm bound to go where there ain't no snow
Where the rain don't fall and the wind don't blow
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains you never change your socks
And the little streams of alcohol come a-trickling down the rocks
The brakemen have to tip their hats and the railroad bulls are blind
There's a lake of stew and of whiskey too
You can paddle all around 'em in a big canoe
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains the jails are made of tin
And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in
There ain't no short handled shovels, no axes saws or picks
I'm a goin to stay where you sleep all day
Where they hung the jerk that invented work
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
I'll see you all this coming fall in the Big Rock Candy Mountains
Down the track came a hobo hiking and he said boys I'm not turning
I'm headin for a land that's far away beside the crystal fountains
So come with me we'll go and see the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains there's a land that's fair and bright
Where the handouts grow on bushes and you sleep out every night
Where the boxcars are all empty and the sun shines every day
On the birds and the bees and the cigarette trees
Where the lemonade springs where the bluebird sings
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains all the cops have wooden legs
And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth and the hens lay soft boiled eggs
The farmer's trees are full of fruit and the barns are full of hay
Oh, I'm bound to go where there ain't no snow
Where the rain don't fall and the wind don't blow
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains you never change your socks
And the little streams of alcohol come a-trickling down the rocks
The brakemen have to tip their hats and the railroad bulls are blind
There's a lake of stew and of whiskey too
You can paddle all around 'em in a big canoe
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains the jails are made of tin
And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in
There ain't no short handled shovels, no axes saws or picks
I'm a goin to stay where you sleep all day
Where they hung the jerk that invented work
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
I'll see you all this coming fall in the Big Rock Candy Mountains
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